Today is World Mental Health Day. I suffer from mental illness. I have struggled with it for most of my life. Because of my mental illnesses, I have conquered a lot, lost a lot, and gained some things too. Through it all, I’ve learned how to skillfully deal with strong emotions, even when they seem all-consuming. Mental illness is so, so difficult, and it’s hard to find ways to cope.

On days like today, when you hear others’ stories of struggling, overcoming, feeling defeated, and everything in between, I want to challenge you: instead of trying to “fix” people or offer well-meaning advice, would you just sit in that pain for a bit? Would you allow yourself to feel it, without trying to change it? As someone with mental illness, I know firsthand how much we struggle and how much advice we get about ways to heal from our pain. However, healing isn’t linear, and sometimes healing simply doesn’t happen. It’s a tough reality of mental illness, but it’s one that I think is important to acknowledge. Sometimes people just don’t get better. Sometimes every single day is a battle. Sometimes we wage war against our minds, day after day, and never find relief. And sometimes we just need our support system to acknowledge and accept that, just as we have to acknowledge and accept it.

Today I pray for my fellow sufferers. I pray that we might find relief from pain, in whatever way we can; maybe that looks like a smile from a friend, a craft or hobby we enjoy, a loving environment that makes us feel less alone… I pray that we might find the strength within ourselves to make it through each day–each moment–and that we might not give up the fight, but find meaning in the struggle. I also pray that others might support us in effective, helpful ways, so that we don’t feel so alone.